I'd like to share my story on how I started maintain my obligation towards Allah.
At first, I was so lazzzyy to pray...there's always an excuse...
"jap lg la.." "ngantok nyee.." "nk tgk cite best jp..." any sorts of reasons that's applicable that moment..
At one point, I've even stop praying for almost half a year...and God knows how many excuses I've told myself... (Subhanallah, forgive me Allah)
Despite my neglect..
I acknowledge the situation of the world now.. The New World Order, The Preparation of The End, The Arrival, The Media effect, The Economy effect, etc.
I felt the fear of the end of the world.. But I never thought of the Actual Deal..
One day, I was FBing as usual..when I found this post;
(It's in Malay..)
and I became even more terrified after this post;
Wallahualam..
But I was terrified.. I started praying instantly.. With every prayer I made.. I was horribly afraid of the end.. And nonsense were coming out of my mind constantly.. My imagination of the world disaster have gone real mad..It was a terrible feeling..But I never stop praying though..
Until one night...
I was at peace..I ask myself.. "Am I doing the right thing here? Should I feel this way?"
And after a deep thought of everything...I found myself an answer.. peace actually.. It was Allah.. I found Him in my mind.. I tried reaching for Him.. and ask for more answers.. And He gave me.. He gave me everything I need.. Subhanallah..
Referring to my questions before; "Am I doing the right thing here? Should I feel this way?"
And He gave me this thought; "Lubna, He is The Creator, Most Gracious and Most Merciful.. Love Him.. Understand Him.." And there was like a flashback of my life.. Every nikmat that I enjoyed.. Every situation that I survived.. EVERY SINGLE THING is FROM HIM..Specially for me..And it occurs to me of how much I was ungrateful... I do not have words to say...
I tell you, by that moment on..I've never felt so loved yet ashamed of myself..I can feel His love..Each time I pray I was at ease.. And I will never get bore of that situation..Honestly if I were missing my prayer..Only God knows the feeling of guilt and fear...
I'd like to share my conversation with my dear sister;
Me: i hv smtg to ask,
is it wrong that i fear for Him n hardly felt love ?- Sister: no its not wrong, but aren't quite right, think of it this way,
like a child,
he did something wrong huh, so he's afraid his mom will beat him, and he cries. but u know where they normally end up.the safest place for him to run and hide is to his mom
she wil 'babab' him but hug him still.
that's the mercy of a mother, and we can't imagine what Allah's love is for us. subhanallah.
Lovely right? :)
I've heard of this hadith before.. But I can't remember which one.. It says, "If you're going towards Allah.. He will RUN towards you.." Ya Rabb..I am constantly missing that feeling.. Of how great His love is..
Personally I think.. This is the real deal..
When you find Allah.. You'll feel protected.. Despite the horrifying end of the world..
I hope we all will get His blessing and Hidayah..
Anyhow there shouldn't be a reason why we must not prepare ourselves for the afterlife.. Astaghfirullahaladzim.. Forgive us Allah..
Thank you for reading..
Salam..
